sa totoo lang i was raised by my environment believing that i am the ugliest person sa aming clan. ewan ko ba. pango daw ilong ko, mataba, maitim at kulot ang buhok ko. in short panget daw ako.
i can say i am not stunningly beautiful. i was probably having siesta when God showered his earthly gifts of beauty and charm. Though i'm not beautiful, i cannot and will not admit that i am ugly. i am just me. haay, did i actually make sense. ewan
My feelings of insecurity on my physical appearance grew at its peak when i was in high school. Though there were guys who were interested on me, i still didn't have any confidence on how i look. During those times, i never believe anyone would actually like me because UGLY nga daw ako. Maybe that is the explanation why my behavior in HS days were a little boyish and indifferent. I will wear baggy pants and big shirts. My favorite colors were black, white, dark blue...etc I also listen to some alternative music which i felt embodies my feelings of anger and insecurities.
During my college years, i regain a little confidence and started to try experimenting on the way i look. ika nga nila, i am a late bloomer. Ewan ko ren ba kung papaano ko napaniwala at na brain wash ang aking sarili na hindi nga ako panget. Basta na feel ko na lang na wala namang dapat ipag mukmok. So i started wearing skirt, wearing "girly" sandals...etc
bakit nga ba naisip uli ang ugly duckling syndrome? ala kc naisip ko, ngayon un attached ako ito ba ay resulta ng pagiging ugly duckling ko... o nasobrahan naman akong ng pagiging defensive at natatakot na sa akin ang mga potential partners to be.
ewan. si dy kc eh...napaisip tuloy ako.
basta sa ngayon, ok ako. I don't hate being single though i still prefer having a partner. Basta alam ko darating yun o dili naman kaya gagawa ako ng paraan para dumating iyon. Basta all i know is that when that time comes, everything around me would conspire to make things happen. Something inside me will push me to make things happen.And maybe i would just be accidentally victimized by Romance hehehe....baduy.
haaay life...love...med skul....
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