in need of a better life?

i have been stressed out lately. i have pressured my self to study better this 2nd grading period. i need to alleviate myself from my mediocre grade.

My parents does not make think like this. They don't even care on what those numbers mean, i know all that they really want in the end is a doctor for a daughter. They don't really care whatever number would reflect on my transcript, all they want to see after are the initials M & D after my name.

My problem is not coming from my environment, but from the inner me that tells and believed so much as to the numbers i see from this papers. Actually, i should be far more concerned on wether i understand all of these diseases rather than believe so much on these results that would reflect only the proficiency of my memory or more specifically the ability to recall short term information.

but these numbers are my gauge as to whether i am doing my part as a student or not. These numbers tell me that i should work hard more and that i should not stop for the prognosis of my future patents is at stake.

too much the drama. well two hours from now, i would received one of the exam results. I am hoping i pass. i am hoping i pass.

as for my organization, there is too much work that we should be doing. and i hope my orgmates realize this.

as for the lighter side of life. all i want to say is that i will be waiting. I have done my part and now all that is left for me to do is to wait for you. I just want you to know, that right now there is nothing much i can do but this. It will be up to you to do something for us to take a step higher or elevate the level of our friendship into something more interesting. I hope that you would realize sooner, that you do not have to be better than me. There is no competetion here. For actually right now, with all the things that are happening, from all the things that you are saying you are actually one of my favorite guy in the world next to my father. i am not someone great nor perfect. i want you to know that, even if it is hard to beleive, that in this aspect of my life my wishes are simple. so please, get enough courage to approach me rather than confess all of these things to the people around us. please.